I'd do this again, anytime!

The most fulfilling adventure Stargazing embarked on was in the winter of 2002 when she took the train from Toronto to Vancouver, solo. The circumstances were so that this trip was a compromise to keep her from taking an even bigger adventure with her dad to Croatia and to sate her need for excitement before moving back to Victoria and settling back into her same old routine.

To start off Stargazing, mom and dad drove to Toronto and stayed overnight at one of their most stylish and wonderfully welcoming friends' townhouse. It was walking distance to a great Greek restaurant where they dinned, drank wine, exchanged stories, laughed and stumbled back home.

Stargazing booked an upper berth on the train which included breakfast, dinner and a turndown service every night.  The first thing she realized when she got to her seat was there was no place to stash her guitar during the trip. She didn't want to have to lug it everywhere with her and was especially worried because she only had a soft case for it. The car attendant was a very sweet older gentleman and he took a liking to Stargazing. He waited until their car was empty, slyly stashed the case in the pillow compartment across from her berth and told her it would be their little secret. She had also mentioned that she would be very grateful for an extra pillow when he made up her bed and was surprised with 6 on her return from dinner her first night. That gesture was the icing on the cake and made her so happy. She read her books, listened to her portable CD player and was especially cozy in her little nest. She was rocked to sleep by the rhythmical swaying of the train... She was in heaven.

By day the berths are stowed away for regular seating. Stargazing spent most of her time reading and listening to her CD player in her seat but also explored the various cars and caboose. The caboose had a great view from above where you can see the train ahead and take great photos - there was a picture of this somewhere but it has been misplaced.  Breakfast and dinner were served in two seatings, early and late. Although she brought a book, it felt rude reading when you're seated with other people - limited seating, no one gets their own table.  Stargazing made friends with a few older couples who were interested in why such a young lady was travelling alone, what she would do once she arrived in Victoria, who was special in her life and so on. Stargazing got to hear some wonderful stories about all sorts of interesting adventures, grandchildren, pets, experiences and so on. She was truly content in their little moving world on the train. 

Your body gets so used to the swaying of the train that coming to a stop takes a little getting used to. Do they call it rail-legs, like sea-legs?

From the train station in Vancouver she boarded a Greyhound to Victoria via the ferry. Another 3 hour marvellous trip, quite beautiful.  If you're lucky you can spot dolphins jumping in the wake of the boat. Stargazing chose a bench on the top deck and enjoyed the sun and fresh air, reading but mostly people watching. 

Canada is a beautiful country and seeing it woosh by on the train is a wonderful experience. The different terrains, landscapes and weather from province to province, whistle stop to large train station, made for an unforgettable adventure.

Wait for it.... no, it's not true!

I'm a sucker for a good musical. I am partial to Judy Garland and Marilyn Monroe but one of my all time favourites is The Sound of Music. I've been watching it in stages due to my limited amount of "me" time that I have but also because I'm savouring it in a way. Oddly, I didn't recall it being so political even though it is based during war time. When I was younger I guess the story line didn't matter so much as learning all the songs and dances that were featured. I also have found tears running down my face during the Austrian folk dance and when they sang "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens" with sad faces but then realized Maria was singing along with them and ran to meet her in the yard... oh, Emily.

Sweet Sue has leant me The Rogers and Hammerstein Collection box set. During the next few weeks I will be watching Carousel, The King and I (oh, yeah!), State Fair, South Pacific and Oklahoma!  I'm such a sap, listening to Raffi tonight I had to keep myself from bursting into tears from the lovely memories I have of his music from when I was a kid... you'd think I was pregnant or something. Oh no, writing that won't make it come true will it?! Eeek.

Tee hee! Just kidding.

Baby steps in the right direction

Well, it's been a great last week. Sending Robyn to daycare twice a week has given me the kick in the butt I needed to get onto a more structured routine.  We get up about 6am, I nurse Robyn and we get dressed. On Mondays and Wednesdays Robyn is at daycare from 7:30am to 4:00pm where she gets breakfast, goes for a walk rain or shine, has lunch, takes a nap and finds time to play and enjoy herself with the other kiddos in between. This week I've tried to mimmic her routine as best I could. Putting her down for a nap has been tough but I'm following Tara's example as best I can. I need to put together a good playlist to listen to during the put down period.

Robyn is actually eating more since starting daycare, she especially loves orange slices, pickles, mango and banana. Unfortunately, I was finding the highchair we had, a Graco brand deluxe style, to be too big for her even though it says it's for newborn and up. She generally seemed unhappy, uncomfortable and she always ended up in a  slouched position. Tara has the simple white plastic Ikea style chair, Robyn seems much happier in it so I've now switched and am bringing the Graco one to Boomerang, a kids consignment store.

Robyn is getting very close to walking on her own. She's pulling herself up using anything over 6" high as leverage and walks around with he aid of coffee tables, walls, cupboards, etc. She's pretty adventurous and has attempted gaps between coffee tables and couches. Here's a little demo:

Happy 1st Halloween!

We went to Robyn's first Halloween party today at the new daycare's house.  Tara's place was nicely decorated and the other kids were all decked out. The 18 month old girl was a pirate, the 18 month old boy was a lion, the 5 year old girl was a mermaid and Robyn was a ladybug. Tara prepared pumpkin shaped cakes for the kids to decorate, pin the eye patch on the pirate, Halloween themed crafts and spooky music for ambiance. We had a nice snack of apple slices with cinnamon and a tea for me.

I had a little errand to run so I left Robyn with Tara for about 25 minutes. She played and was content for 20 minutes until she realized I was gone and started to cry. Tara wasn't fazed and is looking forward to Monday when we drop Robyn off for her first full day of care. (eeek!)

Nine months?!

How time flies when you're having fun... and raising a baby! Robyn turned 9 months on the 21st, I almost can't believe it.

Wasn't it just the other day that we brought her home all bundled and snuggly in her car seat, struggled with the first few diapers, tried desperately to get her to stay awake long enough to eat, worked hard at nursing and didn't give up even when one nipple was cut and was tremendously painful, recorded every action in a log book, ran our lives on 3 hour intervals in order to feed her, thought sleep was just some fantasy we created while we were dreaming and marvelled at the size of the little onesies and sleepers she wore?

Robyn is "just like a little person" now - as many people point out. She's eating pretty much anything I can liquify in a blender, including Thanksgiving turkey dinner. We've taken swimming and signing lessons. She's saying "mom", "dad", "bird" and "cat". She can practically walk - well, she's pulling herself up to standing and using the coffee table as an aid so she's close! She crawls like a champ. She loves music; she bops around and "sings" along when it's playing. She's a little explorer and gets her hands on anything she can, then puts it in her mouth.

She's still a Mommy's girl but we're working on her getting comfort from other people especially her Dad and Mina and Dave. Our biggest challenge is getting her to fall asleep on her own in her crib, this is the one thing I have procrastinated the most with because I'm worried about how upsetting it will be for her. Don't worry, I have a plan which I am starting tonight. Yes, tonight.

To Revisit This Outfit

The past couple years has been an awkward mix of styles and sizes in my clothing wardrobe. Those of you who knew Stargazing will remember her as a whimsical, colourful, jewellery heavy girl with a sense of the eccentric artist who could pull off almost any outfit and hair style. With the combination of working at a cemetery where she really had to tone down the whimsicality but could keep the jewellery, working at a martial arts school where she was encouraged to be herself if not a "sexier, sportier" self and working at the museum as a professional assistant where she soon became pregnant and it all just went out the window, Stargazing's fun and flirty style got all jumbled.

There are still some remnants of the former persona left in her closet but only the core essentials and pieces that were impossible to get rid of remain. Unfortunately, most of them do not go together, even for the most hard core Stargazing moment. Luckily, her very fashionable mother has been a key component to keeping her wardrobe stylish and classy with extraordinary timing.

This outfit is a perfect example of the more sophisticated but classically Stargazing look. The jacket is by Jessica and is one of the fashionable pieces mom has contributed. The purse and slick grey heels were also contributed from my personal shopper. The gloves were my Nan's and have the sweet white pearl wrist buttons for my romantic hubby to steal kisses from. Pants, hair and make up by me...

Now that I'm in the best shape I've been in years, I'm working on rebuilding a stylish, classy wardrobe with the essence of Stargazing adding the fun and exciting feel that's been lacking for so long.

Toot-toot! All aboard the pity train!

I can't be the first mother to rely on breastfeeding as my baby's number one source for food in her 8th month but neither can I help but feel like I'm doing something wrong.  I've never spent too much effort on feeding myself well, so the ability to nurse Robyn instead of preparing something for her is pure laziness and disturbingly selfish. Now that I've found daycare for her that she will start part-time in November, this lack of preparedness must be reconciled.

I have the tools and the resources, now I need to put everything into action. I even know how easy it is to do, we manage to feed Robyn something at dinner time and breakfast time at Mina and Dave's. I allow myself to justify my lack of motivation due to the fact that Robyn and I are alone 3 nights a week but that's just ridiculous. Many moms are alone with babies and often more than one child and manage just fine. I can also prepare food when Morgan is home during the day. Like I said I know this - it's despicable how I've continued to put it off again and again.

My shoulder devil is saying "You tried to use the food mill today and it didn't work, don't be so hard on yourself!". This is true but what she isn't saying is "Did you even think to use the blender? No. You just cussed about it and decided to nurse her instead. Shame on you." - that would be my shoulder angel talking, I tend to ignore her too often.

I googled how to use a food mill this evening and will give it a whirl tomorrow. Tonight I'm indulging in letting the girl sleep on her nursing pillow, watching some sort of girly movie, reading Cosmo and perhaps even ordering in some Greek On Wheels.

On a different yet self loathing note, the most pitiful thing is how lonely I so often am. I have many friends, or acquaintances I guess, who are new moms or have babies Robyn's age but for someone so outgoing I seem to lack the skills to keep a close friend network. Blame it on "how strong and independent" I am, as I am described by many. Blame it on my lack of self-confidence that these people even like me. I could even blame it on laziness, it's easier to be alone than make an effort to stay close. But whatever the case may be, with all the people I know, I don't have many I can call close friends and that makes me sad.  At least I have an activity I enjoy doing three times a week that's out of the house and is kind of social. With everyone's lives being so busy, Facebook and texting seem to be our preferred means of communication. I miss human interaction - I am considering closing my account because waiting to see if anyone "likes" or "comments" on your status or links is depressing... but how else can I broadcast my new blog posts?

Oh, woe is me. Life could be so much harder; I really should not complain.